My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
