I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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