New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
