is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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