I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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