I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
