I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
