And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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