I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
