He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
