How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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