So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
