they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
