Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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