rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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