what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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