you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
