I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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