He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
