I feel like abortions should bother me more
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
