I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
