dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it because I queefed?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
