I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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