Whoa Z and x make the same sound
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
