ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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