i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
