The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this just has baby written all over it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have fence marks all over my body
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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