just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
