Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
