We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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