I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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