u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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