Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
