hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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