that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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