I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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