did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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