the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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