your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
