I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
