there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
