Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
