Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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