Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are we still banned from the library?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
