i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
