Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
