It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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