On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize