help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
