I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
