So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize