remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
