I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
