he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
