Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
