I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was like eating out sand paper
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
