But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
