The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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