i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's shark week go big or go home
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
