I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
