I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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