Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
