Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
