i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
