i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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