How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
