incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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