So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
